Day 27: “Wanna Grab a Cup of Sex Sometime?”

Today was a shitty day.. seems like it was for everyone I’ve spoken to today. “How was your day?”

SUCKED!

Yeah… Sucked for me too.  This could be a sign that the end is near, but I feel like despite Revelations, the last few days on earth should be oddly AWESOME, don’t you?  Because of this string of shitty events: I had a bad day, all my friends had a bad day, watermelons are exploding… there’s no way God would let the good Christians of the earth go on this note.  But then again… I can’t call myself a GOOD Christian yet… 

Being oddly sleep deprived, I had sex on my mind all day.  My work crush had his parents come in for dinner- his parents from Ireland, it’s weird trying to impress parents of a guy you don’t have.  Like the actor hunk with the car mechanic stepdad and how I promised to bring my car all the way to Maryland, because DAMN, what a GREAT car mechanic!… OK, he really is great.  Seeing my work crush parents sitting eating their Irish food, I thought about how I could slam my work crush in the walk in fridge and make out, he would walk back out into the restaurant forced to interact with his parents… trying to hide what just happened.  Or that actor hunk’s stepdad would talk about what an amazing job I’ve done keeping my car clean… and MY- it smells like summer in a bowl in there!… With nothing in the backseat… Nothing- just clean, empty, large seats that might as well be a bed.  

Sure, this seems like fun.. but it SUCKS.  I think about sex like a bloodhound in the spring, looking for some dog in heat to pounce!  I think about sex all the time and my body is yelling at me to get some ass.  But… I can’t have sex… obviously.  I haven’t even KISSED a guy since my vow… or even held hands… I’m afraid of contact, because I might pin the poor guy down. 

I’ve read that the first strongest human urge is Hunger- this makes sense, because people will get so hungry that they will eat other people… like the passengers on that plane once upon a time.  The SECOND strongest urge is sex.  Next to being so hungry, you’ll eat another human being– you’ll have sex.  Because your body needs it and craves it.  I had a guy last night tell me that what I was doing (365 days of abstinence) really wasn’t that hard… yes, I judged him a little… When sex isn’t an OPTION, it doesn’t count, ok?

So, what happens when you’re thinking about sex constantly and you can’t have any?  It slips into everyday conversation.  “Do you want to grab a cup of sex sometime?”  “Your ass looks great!  I mean, your shoes look great…”  I can’t even look at a guy without taking a quick peak at his pant region- can I see it? or not see it?  If I can see the slightest trace of big dick in there… well, let’s just say, I’m not looking at his face.  I’m afraid the next thing that will happen to me is that I’ll develop celibate-goggles… soon, everyone will seem fuckable to me… This is just a myth I heard once.. hasn’t happened yet- THANK God, for that large superficial bone in my body.

So, yeah- this sucks.  Totally sucks…I wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy… but after work today- I logged in and saw a message from a reader talking about how inspirational I’ve been.  I’ve never heard those words and my name in the same sentence before…  Then, I realized, yes, this is worth it and today didn’t suck so bad anymore.  

Here’s to 339 Days, Veronica Graham, It’s funny how one person can totally make your day…

One Response to “Day 27: “Wanna Grab a Cup of Sex Sometime?””

  1. Jessica Says:

    I think this blog is contagious to read because there is a part of you that everyone can identify with…..and then I can’t stop reading to find more parts I can identify with….

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