Day 29: “How I Spent the Last Day on Earth”

I wore my two dollar purple crinkle shirt for the rapture, black jeans, and my dominatrix sandals- for a cheap look, I looked great!  Got compliments all day long- first, at the salon where I worked to do makeup for a couple of girls getting ready for a night out and later, watching one of the cutest nine year olds ever.  We watched Gulliver’s Travels and it was hilarious!  Needless to say, at 6:00pm- and I was still on earth and it now being past midnight- I’m still on earth… Either the Rapture never happened, or a ton of people got Left Behind.  Thank God Kimmie is still here- I was worried she’d vanish along with Harold Camping.

At the salon while I was doing makeup, there was a young gentleman getting a pedicure… yes, I know, I don’t see this very often either, but we got into an argument- er… discussion about religion.  This guy’s logic was that he hoped that all the Christians would leave the earth so the rest of the world would be left with their money… Him, along with many others, were getting ready to go out tonight for an “End of the World” Party and Prom.  Me, being a Christian, understand the fear(?) that Harold Camping and his followers feel… from as early as I can remember, I was told and read about the horror story of Revelations- be good or you’ll be left behind with the devil.  Even the event of the Rapture itself would freak me out- people VANISHING, their clothes left behind exactly where they were sitting, cars running into each other because the driver vanished, and waking up to find your parents gone because you told that little white lie about not sticking the gum under the table… This is freaky for a Christian child, and pretty freaky for an adult as well.  I’ve always believed in my crazy Christian ways that I would live to see the Rapture… but to be honest, I don’t know of many Christians that don’t- including the new Christians shortly after Jesus died- they believed they were living in the End Days.  So, yeah, I get you, Harold… kind of.

On the other hand, it’s fanatics like him that give Christians a bad rep.  It’s like when people hear I work with actors and they immediately associate me with community theatre actors that wear top hats and speaking in British accents for no reason– just a heads up- most working actors don’t dress or talk like “an ACT-TOR!”  There are a lot of people laughing at the Harold Camping followers right now and I just feel a little sad for them… I stopped freaking out about the Rapture because I needed to focus on living my life instead of living for the end.

So, I bought a “Rapture outfit” to kind of poke fun at the idea, but secretly, I was nervous the night before and as it neared 6 pm, eyeing the clock, saying a silent prayer to please let me stay even though Tribulation is supposed to suck.  I remembered exactly where I was at 5:59- in my car on my way to babysit the nine year old.  If I DID get raptured, at least my crinkle shirt would have shrunk when my body disappeared and everyone would remember me for being super skinny and if I didn’t… well, I was on the look out to avoid any car crashes since I was on a two lane highway- disappearing drivers would have made me bust out my Nascar moves!

The world is a pretty messed up place right now: wars, famine, natural disasters, people just sucking in general… but I’m not ready to leave it yet, because as much as it sucks sometimes, the good out weighs the bad a thousand times over… I had a great Last Day on Earth today.

Here’s to 337 Days, Veronica Graham, Happy Birthday, Biggie Smalls!  Meeting you would have been the one good thing about the Rapture!  

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