Day 42: “Ladies Night and Lesbians”

A good friend of mine and also an actress is in town for a few weeks before heading up to New York to do her actory things.  I’ll call her India, because, well, she’s an Indian beauty.  India swings both ways, you can say, she’s never had a boyfriend or girlfriend, but given how gorgeous she is it makes sense that her standards are top noche and nobody so far has been good enough to claim that right for her.  She’s also incredibly young, talks too much about saving the environment, feminist views, and sings spontaneously… she doesn’t go out for ladies night much.  

Usually when I hang out with Kimmie and another actor, I get left in the dust with all their artsy blah blah filmmaking blah blah performance crap conversation.  I know that Kimmie and India talk at length about all this blah blah crap in their friendship, but last night India turned the conversation to sex… MY FAVORITE TOPIC!  Yes, I could finally not be the third wheel– but also be the EXPERT in this convo during our girl’s night out.  Given that India is well- flexible in who she desires– it came to light that I am no stranger to woman-woman interaction.  I DO claim that I am a straight woman, but given how slutty I used to be– I’ve had sex with women in order to get off.  Getting off was my ultimate goal and if a man wasn’t present… well, I was willing to be flexible.  This sparked India’s interest (not in ME, but about… well, the procedure of having sex with women.)  The three of us have all seen lesbian porn and the topic of female ejaculation came up.

“I don’t buy it,” Kimmie declares.  Always the skeptic.

“Just wait until you have one,” I said.  “It makes the man feel like the king of the world.”

“Or woman!” India chimes in.

“NO,” Kimmie stands her ground. “I don’t buy it.   I’ve seen it in porn and I don’t buy it.”

“Just wait until you-“

“It will never happen because it’s make believe.”

Of course, this is where I admit that two men (yes, just men- sorry India) have successfully pulled this mystical big O out of me.  I named the two guys for Kimmie and she immediately rolls her eyes, “That’s because they have small dicks and need to learn how to use their fingers.”… The two guys were a little short in stature…

The debate continued and India was fascinated by the idea of female ejaculation.  Kimmie continued to shake her head and claim it was false– and well, like a true Taurus, she didn’t budge on her claim and that was that.  However, India continued to ask me questions…What was it like to go down on a woman?  Was it hard to maneuver?  What did it taste like?  

I admitted that I was selfish lover when it came to my lesbo sexcapades.  I allowed them to get me off, but I always tried to weasle my way out of returning the favor.  The lady part is scary… it’s complicated and a lot of terrain…

Kimmie rolled her eyes again.  Frustrated with certain guys that were a “waste of time” because of their confusion when working the lady terrain.  “How hard is front and center?  Seriously?”

Well… me having my certain experiences, I can definitely sympathize with a guy for their netherworld confusion… although, when I’m looking to get off- it doesn’t stop me from judging if they can’t finish the job.  

I think as India was sipping down her super fruity drinks, she was expecting more male attention… and yes, we got plenty of male attention, but just not the ones of… er, caliber.  As my caliber of man is rising everyday I’m abstinent (since before I had NO standards)- it was interesting to be in a bar full of young men and not be attracted or interested in a single one of them.  Thankfully, our conversation made the guys really believe us when we would tell them that we weren’t interested in men.  They took it as we were lesbians and we meant it as, “we’re not interested in any of you.”  

As these 42 days pass through me, I’ve become a more and more observant person.  I feel like I understand India better now than I have in the two years I’ve known her and definitely understand Kimmie a hell of a lot more now too.  I used to think that Kimmie was just extra bitchy and maybe a little frigid- but looking back and observing, I’m able to see that Kimmie actually has a “TYPE” of guy and these guys are rare to come by.  She is very focused (for real) and is pretty no nonsense- so when she tells a guy she’s not interested at a bar- she’s saying what she means instead of just being a mega bitch.  I’m not sure what India’s type is… but I do see that her and Kimmie are cut from part of the same cloth and tend to fall for people they admire.  I’ve gone after the opposite– guys who admire me but there’s nothing admiring about them.  I remember how nervous I was before my date with Actor Hunk and I now know it’s because I’m not used to dating guys that have a lot going for them and I can look up to. 

When I was finishing up with work last night- a customer from Missouri gave me a quote:  “Experience is something you do not get until you need it.”  Maybe my lesbian sexcapades was a moment in my life I needed to experience in order to realize what was so obvious:  I love dick. 

Here’s to 324 Days, Veronica Graham, Don’t knock it till you try it… and I’m knocking it.. for me.

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