Day 43: “The White Girl Fight”

Today at work I got into the “white girl fight” The white girl fight is a passive aggressive war between two Caucasian females.  It’s silent and can start with a nasty look, fake smiles, and subtle put-downs. Erin was in the section next to me this evening at the bar I work in, and took it upon herself to start one of these infamous fights with me. She always finds a way to nag me about my tables and watches me like a hawk to see if I make any mistakes. I started to feel my inner hulk brewing and Joy noticed. She waved me over to the bar and talked to me until I could calm down. She reminded me that Erin was a little rough around the edges, and to take it with a grain of salt.

It reminds me of when I met- The Ultimate White Girl fighter- she and I worked at a shoe store right outside of DC. Shoe-Store-Girl (SSG) was jealous that our mail lady KiKi had set me up with “The Lawyer” and not her. Our store was part of her daily route and she ALWAYS kept us posted with updates on the single and successful men in DC. She came in one afternoon and naturally we started chatting up a storm. We talked about the new arrivals of the week and of course, my other favorite topic-BOYS.

 “Girl, I know the perfect guy for you…he’s a lawyer and works around the corner- cute for a white boy and single!” KiKi said.

 “Really?!” I exclaimed.

 “I’m gonna send him in here one day so you can meet him….keep a look out, he’s always in a suit.”

Later that week the lawyer walks in…It wasn’t hard to spot a hottie like him in a women’s shoe store. He was young, handsome and just like KiKi had warned, in a suit…(also my type). I greeted him with a hi, hello, from behind the register. He looked at me and said “Any chance you’re friends with KiKi?  She…” I immediately interrupted him, introduced myself and confirmed that I was who he was looking for. We exchanged numbers and set a time for a coffee date, which we went on a couple days later. Within two weeks we were talking back in forth via text and made concrete plans to go out on a 2nd date.

While on my way to work one day…I was hoping to spend the day gossiping about my weekend off and “The Lawyer” with my favorite co-worker Nicole. However, she was off that day and I was stuck with SSG for EIGHT LONG hours. I couldn’t ignore her all day so I started talking about my weekend and how things were going with “The Lawyer”. I was filling her ears with my slutty stories like she was my best friend- she wasn’t even close to being a friend. I eventually slipped and said something I would later regret. I told her about my one-night stand I had over the weekend with some guy I met in a bar.

 “You had a one-night stand! What about the lawyer?!” she said.

 “Oh, he and I are great! It was just a one-night stand…hence the term ONE NIGHT STAND.” She was always a little slow to catch on.

I had told SSG too much, she had one up on me and I knew it. Guys keep their mouths shut, will protect other guys like they were blood.  Girls will stab each other in the back in a HEARTBEAT- especially when it comes to good looking guys. SSG took that information and shared it at our local Starbucks with one of the baristas…who just happened to be friends with “The Lawyer”. Neither she nor the barista, whom I would see while grabbing my daily coffee would ever confess to their brief exchange of gossip about me.

 I feared it was only a matter of time before it got back to him. Boy, was I right. Not too long after my confession, I ran into “The Lawyer” at Starbucks. Before I could even say hi he pulled me aside and told me that he had heard a rumor about me having a one-night-stand with another guy over the weekend. My jaw dropped and I fell silent. He waited for me to gather my thoughts and I somehow managed to be mumble out the words, “YES, the rumor is true.” He smiled and took a sip of his coffee, walked away and I never heard from him again.

After that embarrassing moment my mind was racing. I left Starbucks still baffled and trying to figure out how the hell he had found out so soon. Then it hit me like a past due bill… SSG! How COULD she! From then on I wouldn’t speak to her at work because I knew what she had done. I was hoping that she would at least drop a hint that she had been the one to blurt out my sexcapade to the barista, but she NEVER did. She was the only one I had told and I knew she had spilled the beans.

Luckily, the fight this evening ended when Erin apologized for her behavior. This was only after Joy pulled her aside and asked her to not talk down to me. Not all girls participate or even entertain the white girl fight, some girls have your back.

Here’s to day 323, Veronica Graham, Again: Chicks before Dicks.

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