Day 50: “Food Nazi”

I saw my work crush today and it brightened my day instantly. I always find a way to smile at him, I guess he sensed I was in a mood because he kept walking up to me and asking me if I was alright. I’m waiting for the day that he looks at me and screams “Fuck me Veronica! I can’t take it anymore!” Abstinence is no joke, and the thought of being a crazy old maid with 17 cats is not my idea of a dream come true. I can’t go back to where I started with this blog or even attempt too. I’ve realized that the collaboration of two artists is impossible to recreate alone. It’s IMPOSSIBLE. I’m fortunate that this is my story and I can tell it however I like. If it all sucks from now on… I don’t care (just kidding) I know my intent behind this blog. It’s to turn this “Ho into a Housewife.” I want to find love dammit!  

I waited on a couple this evening that reminded me of my reality challenged relationshit with Iago. The hostess was nice enough to warn me upon seating them that they had issues, and what she just witnessed. As the hostess was seating the couple in a booth, she placed the menus on the table and overheard…

“You know you can’t fit into the booth” he said.

“Well, I just did” she said.

“Don’t you want to move to a table, it would be more comfortable for you…” he said.

” No, I’m in it now.” she said meekly.

The hostess accidently dropped the salt shaker over upon hearing their conversation. I looked up  to see what happened as she walked over to me and apologized for seating them in my section and went back to the host stand in a hurry. As soon as I got to the table it was obvious that whatever they were arguing about was far from over. Luckily, I had a sense of what I was walking into after the hostess told me. As I attempted to read off the specials, he hands me the menus and insisted that they wanted to share an order of fish-n-chips. She seemed unhappy with his executive decision and said, “I really am hungry…do you mind if I get my own?” My head shot over in his direction, he nodded yes to her and told me to put two orders in. I looked at her with confusion because she wasn’t overweight and I had already over heard her say that she hadn’t eaten all day! What was this guys problem? Why couldn’t she just eat a fucking meal without being hassled? 

This guy was obviously a dick, and I felt my stomach turn every time I walked up to the table. The icing on the cake was when I set the check presenter in front of  him, and SHE went to pick it up to pay for their meal.  The old me would spit in this guys water, but the new me believes thats wrong and childish- then again maybe not. The sad part was that I saw pieces of me in this guy. Iago, at one point was putting on a lot of weight in spite of his coke addiction, and I would constantly nag him about how much he was eating. I remember telling Iago countless times after he gained weight that I would leave him if he didn’t lose weight.

I would yell at him daily about his eating habits because when we first met he had the body of a NFL player. In prison “free-time” is spending time in the yard getting buff. He was unhappy about how much he missed out on in life by being locked up amongst other things. Eating good food may have been the only thing keeping him sane while we were dating, but I doubt it. I was so wrapped up in my own world that I couldn’t see that maybe, just maybe he was an emotional eater and my lack of understanding only encouraged it.

Here’s to 316 days, Veronica Graham, poking fun at a persons size shows how ignorant you really are-

One Response to “Day 50: “Food Nazi””

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