Day 53: “Repeat Offender”

I’m sitting at the same restaurant that I fled to after my fight with Kimmie in Arlington. I have been trying to come up with stories worth reading in the meantime. I’m in a position that I never thought I would be in and somehow I’m still able to hold my head high. I miss Kimmie and I miss a lot of friends that I used to have. I received a comment from a fan asking if my vow has been broken. My vow is something that I take very seriously and I will not break it. Its the only thing that is keeping me from NOT going back to the old me. I HAVE to follow through with this because I will never change if I don’t. At end of the day all I have is myself to blame if it fails. 

I found an old relapse prevention workbook and brought it with me to read. I filled it out when I was sent to rehab at age 17. It took me back instantly to my experience in my my new school in Pleasantville which was short lived because I got expelled for being drunk on school grounds twice within six months.

The first offense was at a football game…I had been drinking all day after making the executive decision to skip school. I decided to drive drunk in my Saab turbo to go to a higschool football game later that night. I picked up my friend Glow and nearly killed both of us that evening on the way to the game (sorry Glow). I remember my keys being taken away by my friend Ginger once I got there, and being so effin drunk that I got into a fight with her over it. In my drunkenness, I managed to walk over to the school security officer and claim that my friend had stolen my keys and that she needed to give them back to me. The school security cop looked at me and asked if I had been drinking, and of course like any drunk would say, I said NO.

The officer turned me over to a guidance counselor who saw the whole thing and told him to get me out of there before I got into serious trouble. I can’t remember his name but he always bailed me out, when I was in trouble at school. My dad and stepmom were at the game that evening and he handed me over to them to be escorted safely home, and to make sure I didn’t get behind the wheel. Needless to say, I was grounded and suspended the next day. I didn’t care or learn my lesson, and got in trouble six months later for being drunk on school grounds again and was expelled.

My dad had to come pick me up that day and was livid. I’m sure in the back of his mind he was more concerned with what the neighbors in Pleasantville would think. I left the school grounds that sad, sad day with my head held high the spring of my Senior year. I even made it to the yearbook with Ruby’s help. She was a member of the yearbook club with some other friends that always embraced my rebel behavior, and collectively I assume, they managed to get approval to have my photos in it as well as my senior quote- “I’LL BE BACK!”… Arnold was the shit back in the day! 

Here’s to 313 days, Veronica Graham, I’ve gotten everything I did and didn’t want from alcohol ever since I’ve started drinking-

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