Day 57: “Breakfast Bail Out”

I woke up laying in the arms of my work crush… YEAH BABY!  I heard my phone ringing and grabbed it while trying to run into his bathroom (still fully clothed). I locked the door behind me and whispered “hello?!” into the phone. It was my boss from the salon I contract with in Tysons Corner.  She could tell I just woke up to her call and apologized for waking me up so early on a Saturday. I still kept my voice at a whisper because I didn’t want his roommates to hear me on the phone in his room.

My boss at the salon needed me to come in for a bridal trial, and of course I said yes, it’s my job and I love being a make up artist. After I got off the phone I ran over and jumped on the Irish hottie and said, “you gotta get me outta here without being seen, your roommates will never believe that we didn’t have sex!” Luckily, he knows I’m a spaz and told me that he would find a way to get me out safely and to lay back down. I didn’t have to be at the salon until mid afternoon, soooo I curled back into his arms. 

As I was laying in his bed with his arms around me I felt comfortable and safe, we didn’t even kiss the entire sleepover.  I pretty much blabbed his ear off the entire night and told him that I believed in the saying that kissing is more intimate. I actually inherited the idea from Pretty Woman (best movie ever). At 11:30am I gently tapped him on his shoulder and told him that I needed to head out. We both heard his roommates downstairs enjoying their Saturday afternoon talking. I started  to freak out again because I knew that they wouldn’t believe that we had just cuddled all night if we walked downstairs together. I’m not sure how he pulled it off but he did, in an instant he had me scurry out the front door like a ninja, and I was able to run to my car without being seen.

When I was dating a guy named “JAWS” we had to sneak around behind his girlfriends back all the time. It was exhausting hiding from his girlfriend. She was always around?!  His nickname was JAWS because his teeth where to big for his mouth and he had braces on for what seemed to be a 5 year sentence. He and I would party all the time, eat shrooms, and have sex like rabbits. He had a girlfriend the entire time we were dating, but I didn’t care because I was having fun. His mother really liked me and one night after JAWS and I were living it up at some house party we snuck back into his house to have a sex before I had to go home. Instead of leaving afterward, I passed out and woke up the next morning to his mom in my face whispering that JAWS’s girlfriend was at the front door!

His mom to this day is one of the coolest mom’s on the East Coast. She told me to listen carefully to what she was about to say and that I wouldn’t get caught by his girlfriend if I listened to her. She handed me my clothes to put on and told me to hide behind the door in the laundry room because his girlfriend was about to walk into his room. His room was an extension of the laundry room. So there I was hiding behind the door in the laundry room, with his bedroom in front of me and the door to the back yard to my right. I was trapped and scared shitless. His girlfriend had caught us sleeping in his parents bed before when JAWS mom was out of town. I knew if she saw me again she would beat my ass, so I stood there waiting quietly for the signal from his mom to get the hell out of there.

I heard his girlfriend come into his room and yell about how lazy he was and why wasn’t he answering her calls. I was just standing there praying that she didn’t look behind the door and see me. His mom intervened while they were arguing and told them both to go upstairs and she would make breakfast. As they went upstairs she pulled the door away from me and told me to run out the back door and get home before I got caught. She was a genius.

Here’s to 309 days, Veronica Graham- I’m still behind in my posts, and I will be back to the daily entries soon enough…I promise-

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