Day 119: “The Hopeless Romantic”

I’ve noticed that I have a tendency to fall too fast for guys that I barely know. I could compile a list of at least 50 names of guys that I have met since I was a teenager, that I have fallen head over heels for without even knowing their last name.  These instances where I willingly put myself in a position to be noticed by some hottie that has caught my attention have happened in some bizarre places. I have been shot by cupids arrow in an ice cream shop, a strip club, the airport TSA check-in, an AA meeting, a self awareness program and even sitting on a patio at a restaurant having a smoke.

I have no idea why I’m attracted to nearly every guy I’ve made eye contact with. Unfortunately, I don’t have a type at ALL. I’m game for any one that makes my heart skip a beat, or holds an interesting conversation for at least five minutes. I have fallen in “love” with almost every guy I have met. I know it’s not real love, but I call it love because I want it to be. I search for a story in every guy I have met. The type of story where you meet in some random way, make a connection and spend the rest of your lives together making each other miserable.

There is a regular whom I will call “Hopeless Romantic”. She comes into the Irish bar that I work in on occasion and we talk nonstop about her love life with a guy she claims to be just a “friend”. Her constant complaint is that he is self absorbed and is only reliable when she is sick or in a crisis, other than that he’s a flake on every planned get together. One day, about a week ago she came in and was sitting at the bar having a cocktail staring at her phone. I asked how things were going and she instantly picked up where she left off ranting about him as if we had never had a break in between visits. I do love that about her, she can remember where we left off in a story that started two weeks ago.

She is convinced that they have something special and although he has his flaws he is a good guy. From the outside looking in, I think he takes advantage of how nice and accomodating she is to his needs. HR does what I do. She obsesses over a guy that only comes around when its convenient for him. She tricks herself by biding time at the bar, at the gym, at the park or wherever she decides to go a wait it out for his arrival or call. She, like myself makes excuses for him, or in my case the pick of the week. One day when he was supposed to meet her, and of course his ETA had passed, she called him to see where he was and if he was still on his way. When she finally reached him on his cell, he said “Didn’t you say tomorrow, I swear you said we were supposed to meet tomorrow”. She got off the phone and was satisfied with his bogus excuse. They made the plans to get together earlier that day. I call bullshit, on that excuse.

She is much to forgiving, and it happens much to often. I feel sorry for her because it’s obvious that he doesn’t respect her or her time. I’ve told her this, and she defends him. HR says that when they are together things are fantastic. He is charming, intelligent and has even gone shopping with her. The catch is that she has to get him first. Then it hit me like a Mack truck. I have been where she is, time and time again. I make excuses for these guys that know the can get away with doing whatever they please in regards to making time for me. I’m always available, and even when I’m no where to be seen, I’m still available at the drop of a hat.

HR only has this problem with one guy, I have this problem with EVERY guy. I’m always just a phone call away, or an hour away, or on my way, or even…. yeah, I was just thinking about you too, where did you want to meet up? I’m desperate and the guys in my life have been able to sense it. Guys aren’t as dumb as I’d like to believe. They can feel it in the air when I’m waiting for their phone call to go out. They can see it in my eyes that I’m willing to mold myself to be part of their lives, even when we just met. I’m a walking target and I don’t hide it, and this has got to change. I guess I think I’m a supermodel, but at the end of the day the joke is on me when I check my phone and see NO missed calls. I’m like fast food, I’m everywhere and open 24 hours a day and every guy that has ever been graced with my presence has known this.

Here’s to 247 days, Veronica Graham- Fast food is only good once in awhile, and preferably on a rainy day- not everyday.

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