Day 127: “Pondering Rumors during Hurricane Irene”

I’ve been checking the weather radar since yesterday and have heard rumors that I need to stock up on water, milk and bread. Rumors have been spreading like wild fires in DC for people to be prepared for potential power outages caused by hurricane Irene’s fury. When I stopped by 711 for cigarettes I noticed that they didn’t have any ice left and ALL the milk was gone. First of all, who the fuck came up with the idea that milk is a necessity if the power goes out?! It’s going to SPOIL. Seriously, grab a fucking bottle of whiskey from the liquor store and a bag of potato chips…the panic in people is a little unbearable. It seems that people were more relaxed and accepting of the Earthquake that couldn’t be stopped or prepared for. I think the idea of the earth moving and potentially splitting open from underneath my feet is horrifying, not heavy rains and gusts of wind.

I’m convinced that rumors can hurt people, and cause unnecessary anxiety. Rumors will always be out there, but if you know what the truth is you can accept a rumor for what is. It’s just a rumor. I’ve seen red flags in people before. However, I’ve looked past all the signs that tell me that someone isn’t looking out for my best interest, yet I still trust people that I know I shouldn’t. I see what I want to see in people, all people. I want so badly to believe that all the warning signs that flare up are bogus and that I’m just paranoid, but what if these warning signs are there for a reason.

Either way, I should still take these warning signs into consideration because when I take a blind eye I always suffer a consequence. Not so long ago…well let’s be honest, 127 Days ago I was the girl who when a rumor was spread about me it was true. Now that I’m turning a new leaf I’ve started to realize that EVERY choice I make may or may not have a negative consequence. I’ve done some things that I probably shouldn’t have during this vow, but I’m thankful that I’ve come this far without having sex.

I need to stop giving people that I’m not to sure of a reason to potentially spread rumors because it almost happened with Latino Hot Lips. The choice is mine. It always has been, I’m just finally starting to realize it. When I was making out with Latino Hot Lips and he gave me a hickey a few weeks back…I failed to mention in “12 Sleepless Nights” that after I left that night after not putting out he sent me a string of texts saying that I wasn’t the miss innocent that everyone believed me to be because he titty fucked me.

He DIDN”T.  The next morning when I woke up before I went out for lunch I was still furious about it, and worried that he would start spreading a rumor about it. I drove to his mother’s house and confronted him about it. I had to stop this potential rumor, and believe you me I was as “mad as a bag of spiders ( that’s Irish lingo)”. Let’s just say I haven’t heard from him since and his mother told me to move on because I wasn’t the only girl in his life. Thanks to his mother I was able to find out the truth, but I’m not always going to be that lucky. In my experience the truth usually hurts, but I respect it for what it is.

I’m starting to learn that when you play with fire you usually get burned. This should be common knowledge, but  I have a tendency to learn the hard way about everything, its exhausting at times and liberating at others. I was told by another make up artist that I met at the modeling camp over the summer that growth and change is not suppose to be easy. She believed that if you don’t learn your lessons the first time around the consequences of continuing bad behavior will become more severe. I agree with her and am grateful for that bit of wisdom she threw my way.

Here’s to 239 Days,  Veronica Graham-I don’t know if you’ve heard, but all of DC is saying Irene is a bitch!

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