Day 161-166: “Exercise cures Heartache”

My head was clear from day after day of yoga. I was starting each day out right, waking up early in the morning at the crack of dawn with all those runners I used to see when I’d stumble home after a long night out.  I AM ONE OF THOSE ANNOYING PEOPLE NOW!  And I love it.  My days… I can gaurentee will start out right.  The rest of my day however, is a different story.

On Friday, I had gone to a party Kimmie threw for someone close to her heart.  I got a text from her while I was at work that day saying to hurry up and come to the party because everyone was having such a great time! AWESOME! I got my new pink streaks in my hair from Zoe Salon and Spa to support Breast Cancer Awareness, and couldn’t wait to show them off.  When I arrived, Kimmie rushes over to me with a scary looking smile on her face that said, “OH-MY-GOD-THIS-IS-THE-WORST-NIGHT-EVER-AND-I’M-SO-GLAD-YOU’RE-HERE-TO-SAVE-MY-ASS-FROM-THIS-ASSHOLE!”  I knew that smile well.  The night turned from bad to worse and ended with Kimmie cussing out the (I would say poor guy, but I don’t feel bad for him) asshole in the privacy of my parked car and bursting into tears.  I thought about how to be a good friend to her at this moment, and I put my hand on her back to let her know I was there for her. I saw this move watching episodes of Intervention and it’s effective on unpredictable people.

That night when I finally went home, I noticed I left my computer and all my notes in my room.  I normally carry my laptop around with me like it’s my baby that will die without my contact.  My parents were out of town and came home early, and there was my laptop, in the middle of my bedroom floor, vulnerable to be read and exposed!  I called Kimmie immediately for MY turn to have a meltdown.  OH MY GOD, MY PARENTS KNOW EVERYTHING!  That’s it, I’m finished and will probably be cut up into tiny pieces and fed to our aging dog who can barely stand up on his own, AND to prove that my fate was sealed…there were fresh towels my stepmother left in my room.  Am I supposed to believe that she left my laptop alone?!  With all my little secrets locked inside?!  No matter that I expose them on this blog for the world to see, but still… Kimmie listened to me and we agreed to “sleep in” and meet up at 8:00am to go running the next morning… four hours away.

Saturday, Kimmie and I met up at 8:00am, but ended up bitching instead of running and I went to Yoga. Later that day I did hair and make up for a highschooler that was going to Homecoming at my old high school and also had a Bridal Trial.

Sunday, Yoga… And a massage for my aching shoulder.

MONDAY!!  Mr. Nice walked in to the Irish bar I work in with two other women.  Too bad it took me a minute to recognize him because he was acting like a completely different person. I observed as he insisted on buying their drinks and dinner, leaving the server a 20% tip.  With me, he seemed to be a ready-to-party type of guy… who was this two drink maximum gentleman?  Of course, he texted me after he left with the two women asking if I would like to meet up with him to have a drink.  I was too pissed and over it to respond.

Tuesday, running, yoga, and work.

TODAY…. Wednesday.  I get a message, a LONG comment from a reader.  I have to admit that I was pretty rattled when I first read this novel of a message left by the reader, but simply Googled the possibility of line-item-one and found out it’s impossibility. I had a cigarette and went back and forth if I should approve this comment. I’ve approved every comment left for me, so, why stop now?  I’m not going to go into great lengths to explain how upset I was after 5 days had passed and not one missed call was from the person I liked and slept with… and I definitely don’t want to read another novel from someone whose panties got into a bunch over not being able to make a fire. In regards to long the comment… “The lady doth protest too much, methinks”. I’ve been wondering how these guys are able take up so much of my energy?! They have been for most of my adolescence and all of my adulthood so far.  The more I focus on ME, the happier I am.  It’s not until some asshole sticks a wrench in my day that it gets all bent out of shape… So, why is this?  Why can’t I just let men go?  For now, I’m not dead after all, but just until I can get all my shit together.

I accepted a date with a good-looking, seemingly nice guy for Friday.  I aim to be more guarded this time around and keep my damn legs shut!  I’m excited about this date, because I’m genuinely happy to get to know this guy and also, go about it the right way instead of fucking up like I always do, letting myself fall for every little connection and similar interest, and being tempted by their sexy ways!  I’m learning to question people, not in the I’ve-Got-Tons-Of-Baggage kind of way, but ask usual questions about their life, work, and so forth.  “Duh,” like the highschooler said to me as I explained this epiphany to her as I was doing her makeup.  I know, DUH.  Of course, you ask questions, you get to know someone, ALL basic things that I still need to learn how to put into my daily life and dating life.

I’ve been very guarded since the Pathological Liar and notice more “white lies” coming out on a daily basis.  Guys using these white lies to lure me in and an intense stare that is somehow suppose to convince me that they care.  It’s pretty fucking creepy now that I’m noticing it.

Here’s to what could have been 205-200 Days, Veronica Graham, “All discarded lovers should be given a second chance, but with somebody else.”- Mae West

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