Day 168: “Slut = Clueless Dater”

I am typically classified as “crazy.”  My co-workers use this to put up with my antics, my friends say this endearingly, and ex-boyfriends have said this as they dump me.  Today, I was running 15 minutes late for work, despite skipping my morning run.  As I was leaving Starbucks, I saw my boss walking to his car and spotted me.. or so I thought.  “HEY!” I said to him.  “I’m running late to work, please pretend like you didn’t see me!”

“But I do see you, but I wouldn’t have noticed you if you didn’t just shout at me.”

I was frantic trying to get there, bobbing and weaving through traffic, honking at someone on their cell phone, and finally rolled in almost half an hour late.  My manager told me I needed to “chillax” and get on Xanax, of course, I freaked out at her saying I would NEVER get on Xanax cause I would get hooked and it would ruin my life!  If I just ran in the morning I would be fine!

After work, I got my run in.  I needed to get out of crazy mode because I had my date with Norman (I call him this because he was normal) and I didn’t want to make a bad first impression.  I showed Kimmie my outfit I had chosen, a cute sweater dress with a black belt, tights my brother had bought me from China, and my new boots.

“Oh, that’s really cute!” she said. “But it’s really warm outside…”

She was right.  This is the first day in a week it was actually t-shirt weather instead of winter coat weather.  WTF?! What would I do?  Of course, I started to panic again.  I pulled out a leopard print dress and we both deemed it “cute.”

“But I don’t have any shoes!”

Kimmie stared at me blankly like my brother does when I say something stupid.  “Let me see your shoes,” she demanded.

On the top cubby of my shoe organizer was a pair of black pumps.  Perfect shoes for the printed dress!  Of course, since I have a shoe collection that could rival Carrie Bradshaw.

My date, Norman, had picked out a tapas restaurant for the two of us and the date went well.  He was a normal guy: lived on his own, didn’t have a drinking or drug problem, didn’t poke fun at me, took care of the bill without giving me the “are you gonna get that” eye, and could hold a normal conversation… not to mention, he was one handsome Southerner!  He treated me like a lady and allowed me to talk about myself and BE MYSELF without me feeling anxious or even wanting a drink.  At the end of the date, he hugged me goodbye after walking me to my car.  Needless to say, I had a great time getting to know Norman on my first date!

My first “date” with Iago was meeting him at work, throwing back a few drinks and then finding a place to have sex.  Sex with Iago almost always happened in a hotel room since he lived with his father for the better part of our relationshit and I lived at home with my parents.  My first “date” with Rich-Married-Man was grabbing a hotel room to have sex in within the first 20 minutes of meeting each other at a bar, we told the receptionist that we had just eloped in order to get a deal on a suite.  My first “date” with Arab Prince was meeting up with him at his work.. I did hold out with him, though, until the second “date.”  My first “date” with Latino-Hot-Lips was throwing back drinks at a mutual friend’s house before… can you guess it, having sex.  My first “date” with High-School-Sweetheart was having sex at one of his a friends house, of course, this first “date” led to my first and only (so far) pregnancy and eventual heartbreaking smortion.  My first “date” with Film Geek was meeting up over drinks to talk “business” which, yes… led to sex.  There’s more, but I think it’s safe to say that I don’t know how to date.  My crazy ways lead to crazy first “dates” and led to crazy relationshits… if they even get that far.

I can thank my normal date with Norman tonight from being burned by Pathological Liar, good advice from friends and co workers, and not drinking.

In the world of Veronica Graham, first date = anxiety, anxiety = drinks, drinks = more drinks, and drunk = sex.  I walked into this date with no expectations and no alcohol… who would have known?  I actually had a great time!  Now if only I can figure out the details of “To Dos” and “Don’t Dos” for the rest of the dates….

Here’s to what could have been 198 Days, Veronica Graham, By being around someone “normal,” I was able to feel like myself.

One Response to “Day 168: “Slut = Clueless Dater””

  1. Hey Veronica, if you are real, I hope you get your life together. If I were single, I’d show you how.

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