Day 200-206: “Fairy Tales from Hell”

I worked on another episode of Nightmare Next Door last week and it was AWESOME! To my surprise I also received a call back for filming in 3 weeks! During this down time I will be coming up with new ideas on how to WOW the producers again. I’ve noticed that everything in makeup artistry comes in waves and when you catch a good one… ride it out and hope to catch another. My coworker Scotty at the Irish bar knows about my blog and recently asked me why I fell off the wagon and into the arms of two guys when I was supposed to be abstinent. I didn’t expect him to ask me that nor did I want to talk about it, but I did manage to spew out that I was tempted. “Temptation?!” he said and glared at me. “So you think God had something to do with your falling into the arms of two different lovers after making a vow to NOT have sex?!!”  He called my bluff and stated that God had nothing to do with my sexcapades before or after my vow. It was my choice to be with these men.

Looking back, I’ve noticed that I have a tendency to turn any encounter with a guy into something more than it is because I want the fairy tale. I wanted it with Mr. Nice and I wanted it with the Pathological Liar, RMM, Iago, and all the rest. I love the idea of escaping into the arms of stranger and getting lost in a moment just like the next girl, but my way of going about it is fucking insane! I know you can’t keep a relationship built on sex, but dammed if I haven’t tried. Scotty brought up a good point when we were chatting… He said that my perspective may have changed when it comes to how I see men but I haven’t fully changed my way of thinking. Luckily, I haven’t fallen of the wagon since my encounter with the sultry and seductive Pathological Liar. However, I’ve been feeling antsy lately and it worries me. Over the weekend I could feel trouble brewing inside of me and my solution to this feeling was to isolate myself from people, sleep and watch a flick about the Dark Ages.

In my thoughts I reflected back to one of my “Fairy Tales From Hell” ahem…

Once upon a time…In the Spring of 2007 I went to court with Iago because I petitioned for a Protective Order against him. I met with a Specialist and was set on issuing it because I feared him. Instead of following through with the order when it came down to the moment of truth… I denied ALL charges against him and claimed it was ALL a misunderstanding on my part. Despite ALL the drama I couldn’t bare the thought of losing him completely and I lied under oath. He was accused of the following: “Mr.__ has followed and prevented Ms. __from leaving or seeking help. He has blocked her car in, taken her car keys, cell phone and more. No contact/ No exceptions.”Any woman in their right mind would have followed through with the order if it was the truth. I was fake in the judges eyes and I knew it. He reprimanded me for wasting his time, told me to NEVER toy with the law again, and to get out of his court room.

Once the case was dismissed I met Iago for lunch and with tearful eyes apologized for almost sending him to jail. We were back on the crazy train and things only got worse. The two of us got further into drugs, and the arguments got nasty. I still couldnt muster up the courage to leave him just yet. He would become my knight in shining armor later that fall when he hired a bondsman to get me out of jail… my first and only time spent behind bars. Not quite the picture perfect romance but I thought he was “the one” and believed we could make it work.  The drama never ceased when the two of us were together, the fights were endless and the sex eventually got replaced with drugs entirely. How I ever got out of that relationshit is an unsolved mystery.

Here’s to what could have been 165-159 Days, Veronica Graham, How many red flags does it take to walk a way from a relationshit?

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