Day 279-312: “SPOILER: VG had Sex”

A lot has changed since my last entry, things are great at home but my life sure as hell isn’t breezy anymore.  I decided to quit drinking and have been sober for the past three weeks. I’ve also managed to snag myself one helluva good man…. My man-friend (far too sexy and sophisticated to be called a boyfriend.). He knows about my blog and politely asked me to keep him out of it.  At first I thought he was ashamed of me but then I realized the benefit of keeping what happens between us private. I’m actually happy he was against me posting every other entry from here on out about us. It seems appropriate and allows me to keep something about me to myself, it’s probably the only thing I’ll be able to keep personal at this point. I’ve poured my heart out in this blog and I can’t delete or avoid it. I’m not going to get into great detail about my relationship with my man-friend because I’ve chosen to stay with him for the long haul. I want to leave the rest of the world and their opinions out of it (for now). However, getting sober has been a fun ride, I’ve been drinking coffee until my hands start to shake and chain smoking (I know, healthy, right?)

Just so you know- I’m not involved with a complete stranger. I met my man-friend over a year ago and have enjoyed getting to know him in the past 4 months. He gets me and he talks to me, and I mean TALKS to me. We chat it up like a couple of old bags in a retirement home and thoroughly enjoy  picking each other’s brain.  At first I didn’t think too much about it advancing into anything further, but it did. He is far from a stranger and has become one of my closest friends and it was a natural progression that led to he and I becoming exclusive.  I tried to stay abstinent and it worked for a while, but this blog is about change and honesty, so yes, I’ve had sex with my manfriend.  I want to make it a point to share with everyone that in my journey I’ve realized that its never been about the sex. It’s been about me owning up to the shitty person I used to be and having to want to change into the person I’m striving to be. For the first time, I’ve had sex with someone the way sex SHOULD be had and is meant to be had.  For so long I was face down ass up for complete strangers- yes, strangers… I didn’t know their names.  Okay, maybe it wasn’t THAT bad, but I can’t say I remembered their names once the booze wore off the next morning.  My manfriend and I met, were attracted to each other, pursued a friendship and then grew into a committed relationship with each other- all this happened before I decided to take the next (and important) step of our relationship into sexy time.

So.. I didn’t make the 365 days… Well, shit.  I wish my life played out like a movie and I could have kept my legs shut and on Day 365, some guy confessed his love for me and we would bang like rabbits on Day 366.  My life isn’t so neat, I guess and I am continuing to change and grow.

Here’s to what could have been days, Veronica Graham, What do you know?  I’m in a healthy relationship.  Happiness is Soooo boring and I love it.

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