The Stork and the Womb

I was sitting on a bench wondering how I got a three tier cake of a stomach and reflecting on what being a size zero used to be like shopping at 579. Aww, look at them, the cute girl that’s nuzzling her face into the chest of her lover, the unsuspecting hand holding of the couple behind me, the weird guy that always holds the door to the coffee shop open, people taking photos with a Nixon thats too advanced for them, old goats walking with canes and of course… The married couple with gremlins latched onto their calves and cheerios, everywhere. I can smell Fall around the corner-the pumpkin spice latte was a give a way. It’s 2013- I’ve wrapped with a true crime series and just got my license back. After breaking the law a couple times in a row the fuzz had to temporarily take it away. I was able to use the BMW though- Bus.Metro.Walk. I had one of the best summer vacations in the Outer Banks with a girlfriend in the biz and snuck in a sporadic solo road trip to Greensboro, NC-to meet a man friend.

While FB stalking my man friend one evening, ahem, Southern Gentleman. A wild hair entered my ass and thought it would be a great idea to see him. He and I became friends in 2012 and would run into each other from time to time on various film sets. After a bad business deal and a broken spirit he returned back to Georgia. We stayed in touch and  after chatting one unforgettable evening we devised a plan to meet half way between Virginia and Georgia, just for fun. No pressure for a relationship, right?! The next morning I was in my car and on my way to meet my Southern Gentleman- with caution to wind and a cleared license the world was again, my oyster.


After my third pregnancy test came up positive while sitting in the stall of a grimy restaurant I was working in; my legs went numb when the last test I had read positive. I don’t know why I had to use more than one, it seemed like the logical thing to do. My instinct had already led on that I had a bun in the oven from my adventure with SG but you know, I’m not psychic and the truth usually takes awhile to set in with me. Scared and shocked I called my sister for support and ditched my shift at the shitty restaurant, never to return-not such a good idea but whatever. My sister met me at my place with smiles an and hands filled with Popeye’s and Peruvian food. Her eyes greeted me with the ‘look’. You know the look I’m talking about, the half assed sincere not judging but really am judging you look. We sat in silence before agreeing that we needed to watch a movie. 17 Again, seemed fitting. As I started to unravel the details, my sister proceeds to eat all the food, sympathy pain I guess.

A sleepless night turned into a sleepless morning of waiting in a women’s clinic to get the official low down. After filling out paper work I was asked to dish out the cash…Not having insurance sucked. I rarely got sick so it wasn’t ever a priority of mine. However, my first journey down this path wasn’t picturesque and I believe that I was given the chance to chose a different path this time around. Come hell or high water I was having my baby.

In my opinion, all women’s clinics feel like a waiting room in hell and when the doctor greeted me I began explaining my very detailed situation. She assured me that everything would be fine and that she would determine who the father was based on the dates I’d given. After the exam and my briefing-she handed me a picture of my 4 week old baby that undoubtedly resembled a picture of a kidney bean. She also confirmed that SG was the father and I just kinda sat there and let reality sink in.

Finding out you’re pregnant with someone you’re in love with is awesome. Finding out you’re pregnant with your husband of 5 years is fantastic. Finding out you’re pregnant by a model who’s 10 years younger and lives 600 miles away is what happened to me. The day was a pretty gut wrenching experience and the cherry on top was an asshole dude holding a sign stating that abortion kills. It sure does Captain obvious! What’s up with people these days?! For fuck sake you don’t have to agree with peoples lifestyles but you sure as hell should respect their rights as individuals and mind your own business. If you’re not part of the solution then don’t be part of the problem. You gotta get your facts straight if you wanna be the pied piper.


–Children have a way of teaching you how to be selfless, wake up with a sense of purpose and not just live for the moment. I can see it now-I will be sitting on the beach and my little one will look at me and say ‘Thanks for choosing life you crazy lady, now get me a snow cone, a hermit crab with one of those cool cages and charge my iPhone25- ‘Okay MA!”

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