Archive for Crush

Day 23: “America the Beautiful”

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , on May 16, 2011 by Veronica Graham

Today I watched a documentary called America the Beautiful by Darryl Roberts.   In the very beginning of the documentary he talks about an amazing woman he had and let go of because he believed there were plenty of other fish in the sea…. It seems as though he was proven wrong and she married another man and had a couple of kids, as happy as could be.

I think about my relationship with Iago and one of his tactics to keeping me around was complaining about the way I looked, “You’re not even that good looking,” “What are you going to do about your skin breaking out?”  “You need to lose weight.”  All these made me feel less worthy- that if I could be a pretty, clear-skinned, skinny individual than I would be good enough for him.  Let’s just say I wore a lot of black while dating him.

This idea of the “perfect” girl in our society and how the media has brainwashed the minds of both men and woman make me wonder if we’re doomed.  From what I’ve noticed, the male population is saturated with flawless and photoshop versions of women in their every day lives to make the average woman feel shameful and unfulfilled- and feel lucky to have any good looking guy- even if he is a prisoner.

Looks aren’t the only department that suffers here.  MTV, music videos, and movies pollute our minds of the “PERFECT” woman.  Kimmie often gets criticized in relationships for being “boring,” “grandma-ish,” and a “workaholic.”  This girl can party every now and again, but is unlikely to on a night when she needs to get up early in the morning, she likes to keep her days productive and works hard- in her very Asian way.  Guys seems to expect me to constantly be working on how to improve my appereance while guys expect her to improve her “wild child” ways.  Are there any guys truly satisfied?  Has the media brainwashed us to expect not only the unattainable but the fantasy?

I was admiring my work crush again today and when this super cutie started hitting on me… it seemed as though my crush noticed me more.  Ooooo, I thought at first- but at the same time, What the hell?  Do I need the attention of someone else to get yours???

I feel like one of the most insulting things about the documentary I watched was when a guy interviewed said, “Looks are 70% of a relationship,” because girls just tend to be less intelligent then guys.  Sure, yeah, that’s what women are all about- Big dicks, money, good looks, money, six packs, and money, right?  What ever happened to the modern age where us women could make our OWN money?  I have Tiffany’s jewerly that I bought on my own dime, assholes!  AND where there is a woman that can fend for her own, she’s too boring because lap dances, blow jobs, and sandwiches aren’t being offered once you get home to that hottie… So is it really expected that we need to look like 10s, act like whores, be super moms, and top noche career women all at once?  Why don’t guys get the same expectation?  So, they may LOOK good and that makes up for their empty pockets or they might be rich, but that’s their excuse to let themselves go and still expect the perfect 10?

I think about when Iago gained weight during our relationship and I loved him.  Maybe I shouldn’t have- because he treated me horribly and was in prision for eight years, but I still loved him when he got fat.  Thinking back on those comments that made me run around in black during the summer infuriate me now!  Do you know how hot DC Summers are???  They’re torture!

Thank God for men like Darryl Roberts to appreciate us women the way we’re made… Now, that’s hot!

Here’s the 343 Days, Veronica Graham, I hope all my children are boys-


Day 21: “Top 10 Ugly Hot Guys”

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , on May 14, 2011 by Veronica Graham

I have a full blown crush- on an ugly hot guy.  I love these because they stay hot forever!!!  These guys don’t come around too often, but when they do, man, do the panties want to drop!  They’re so hot in their ugliness that they’re not ugly at all.  These are guys that ALL women want, they’re non traditional, but their sexiness is so engrained in them that the female population cannot deny how hot these ugly guys are.  These guys get the hottest girls out there, because they can.  To give you an idea- I’ve compiled a list of the top 10 Ugly Hot Guys:

10: Hugh Grant.  My crush looks a lot like Hugh Grant.  There’s something about his big blue eyes and the way he’s so passionate about love and you know, whatever romantic stuff he rants about in his movies that make you look past his bad hair and want to grab it- Kissing him and shouting, “Yes!  We are meant to be!  Keep talking to me in that sexy accent and poetry you bad, bad boy!”

9: Eric Balfor.  DAMN, THAT ASS!!!  What else do I need to say?

8. Seth Rogan.  Sure, he looks like a teddy bear- I mean, really like a teddy bear… like if we were in some weird alternate universe where teddy bears came to life as humans.  But his humor makes him as sexy as any 6 pack Baywatch sex machine.  He’s so funny that I just want to make out with him, then pause to hear more jokes.  I can imagine sex with this guy is as fun as it would get.

7.Michael Cera.  Don’t you just want to destroy his innocence?  Don’t worry, baby, you don’t need to be so nervous- I’ll turn you into a real man.

6. Jon Heder.  Any guy that can dance like he does at the end of Napoleon Dynamite with those moon boots has more than a few moves in the sack.  Plus, have you seen those lips?   Definitely need take advantage of those during foreplay.

5. Javier Bardem.  Please take me away on a boat to whatever island and teach me how to spear fish, assassinate bad guys, and have sex on the beach while the waves crash into our naked bodies!

4. Adrien Brody.  That man can carry his nose with the confidence of a man with an erect penis in the middle of a crowd.  He doesn’t care, because he knows he’s better and bigger than everyone.  Sing me a song, play the piano, or say something sensitive- how nice of a man to do all these things when he knows he’s gonna get lucky.

3. Vincent Cassel.  Teach ME about passion!  Let me respond to your touch!  Forget Nina, Dammit!

2. Mikhail Baryshnikov.  Damn!  I get chills just looking at him!  Seriously, I do get chills.  He’s so sexy with those dance moves and stamina… I can’t say more…

AND Number One IS:

1. Mick Jagger.  Let me get this one thing straight- there is nothing ugly about this man.  He deserves a blow job just by walking into a room.  If he doesn’t get it- I’m disappointed with you ladies of the world.  Tsk tsk tsk, shame shame shame.

Now, what to do about my work crush turned full blown crush.  I can barely speak to him.  Last night I went to grab some drinks at work with some friends and it was so easy to ignore my company because I was staring at my crush the entire time.  Today I stepped it up and broke the touch barrier- as I was reaching for something, I touched his shoulder to say, “could you move aside a couple millimeters?  Thanks, now I have enough room to reach for that pepper shaker.”  My freaky staring started to wig him out and he avoided me the rest of the night.  I have no game!  If I wanted to land this ugly hunk, then I needed to learn how to flirt like a housewife and not a ho.

Here’s to 345 Days, Veronica Graham, I need to go through my wardrobe too- all my clothes scream stripper… sigh-